At band practice, the music teacher announces they are being entered into the school band competition. Lisa annoys him by suggesting they do something other than Stars and Stripes. Later the family head off to some kind of fair or event. Probably the band concert. Lisa does really well but another band play Stars and Stripes and use glow sticks (illegally) and beat them.
Anyway, a horse is going to be killed so they decide to take it in. Comic Book Guy pointed out they already did this with Stampey, but nobody cares what he thinks. Marge is worried about the cost but Homer has a few ideas for Dunken to earn his keep. After he discovers he can’t play in the NFL, Bart suggests they race him.
Dunken loses his first race. Homer and Bart give ‘Ferious D’ a new attitude and he kicks all the other horses out of the way and wins the races. From then on the other horses get their asses kicked and Dunken wins everything.
Homer is captured and taken to the secret land of the jockeys where they all speak weird, admit their lives are just fake. They then sing him a song and tell him that his horse must lose a race or they will eat his brain.
Homer tells the Bart to lose the race. But Bart but he refuses and Dunken wins the race. The jockeys try to kill him with cannons and swords. They ride home with the jockeys in persuit but Marge and Lisa appear with super soakers and taken them out. Homer then shoves them all in a bag.
President Clinton arrives and turns over the result of the band contest and gives Lisa the trophy.
Homer: “Race horse ay?”
Lisa: “Dear Mr. President”
Marge: “I wonder what would happen if they had a baby”
Homer: “He ran all the way here.”
Carl: “Yeah that’s a great tour. But you can’t do it all.”
Homer: “Oh wait. You were number 5?!?”